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Ok…I need your input here. The Joli House readership is steadily growing. Conversely I actually have a lot less time on my hands now that I’m out of the house such a lot. In fact, if it wasn’t for Lily there’d be an absolute dearth of FOs to show you. 
This is where you come in. I need to know how you deal with comments on your blogs or indeed how you like other bloggers to deal with them if you are blogless. When I first started Joli House I was lucky to get 2 comments a week. I had plenty time on my hands and all comments had a reply straight away. Well things have changed a little, and whilst the Yarn Harlot has nothing to worry about we do get a lot more comments these days.
I am still of the opinion that I should at least try to respond to all comments. This however has been a challenge of late and not because of comment volume either. The WordPress comment reply system means that replies get posted on the blog. I’ve searched the forums and have been unable to establish whether or not the commenter is notified of my reply so if you can clarify this then please do let me know.
If I’m honest this method of comment reply really doesn’t work for me. I comment on dozens of blogs and rarely check back with them for replies. There are also occasions when I don’t want all of my replies to be completely public. Some of you will already know about the sweater I have been secretly knitting for Lily’s birthday – well so does she now. It’s my own fault as I inadvertently hit ‘reply’ to a couple of comments and they got posted on the blog. Of course Lily was quick to spot them in the brief 30 minutes before deletion. AAAGGH!
I have been replying to comments via e-mail and using cut and paste creatively so that you have some idea what on earth I am replying about – or even who I am! Of course this all takes even more time and I am quite sure that I’m not keeping track of everything and that some comments are going unanswered. I’m realistic enough to accept that neither me nor any other blogger can answer every single comment on every single post, but I think it’s so off-putting to regularly comment on a blog and never get a reply or any other interaction with the blogger. Happens a lot and I honestly don’t see the point in blogging that way. I like the blogging experience to be a bit more sociable. My personal preference for acknowledgement of a comment is a return blog visit/comment because that’s how I’ve found some fantastic blogs. Do I sound like a control freak now?
Anyway, have a little think and let me know which you prefer?
- a reply on my blog
- a reply via e-mail
- a return blog visit/comment
- or do you not even want or expect a reply?
Enough waffling now. Back to my outed secret knitting!
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I have been having a similar crisis of conscience. When people make very personal comments e.g. about their own health, I do try to reply by email, but often they haven’t left an address! Then I feel guilty that I haven’t acknowledged them, but would not want to do so in “public”. Tricky. I try to do return blog visits where possible, say a general “thank you” if I get lots of similar comments about health or knitting progress, and email if there is something “special” to say. Like you, I forget to return to blogs to look for replies to my comments, so that doesn’t work for me.
I occasionally leave replies to comments on my blog. While every comment makes me deliriously happy, I don’t thank every single poster for their message but I do respond when they have a question. I believe, if a reader/commenter expects an answer, they will come back to check. If it gets personal, I try to locate them in Ravelry and take it from there.
I try to reply to comments on my blog via e-mail, it feels friendlier. Like I’m paying more attention to the commenter, you know? Unless it is something that I want the next reader to be able to read too, like a general question or something similar, then I’ll email it AND post it to the blog.
You can set wordpress to notify you of follow-up comments if you want, which I do whenever I comment somewhere. That way, I’ll know for sure if I’ve been replied to. Otherwise I usually forget to go back and check. I understand that may not be the case for everyone though.
Oh, and in WordPress’ “Global Dashboard” under “My comments” you can see what you’ve commented on, and whether other comments have been published since yours. Just, FYI.
I take a bit of an anti-social approach to blogging, I guess, enjoying the essay writing/photgraphy part of it more than the readership interaction. It’s not that I don’t like having interaction with people thru the blog, but I don’t want to feel compelled to do it to the point where it’s burdensome. I can’t imagine demanding of myself that I reply to all comments. If I get a new visitor who actually comments, I will try to make sure to acknowledge them, but I’m very haphazard otherwise. So from my perspective, answering some comments sometimes, and by e-mail instead of replying in a follow-up comment, is plenty. As you might imagine, I don’t have nearly the comment problem that you have!
I personally like to respond to my comments with an email reply. Even if its only a “thanks!”. I feel that if people take the time to comment on my blog I should take the time to acknowledge that. Now my blog is set up that I get my comments emailed to me so its a whole different ball game than what you are experiencing. I never go back to check and see if the author replied on other blogs, it doesn’t even cross my mind that some people do that.
Dang you Lily for finding out, I hope it wasn’t my message…..
I think e-mail will be the best for everyone, you’re sure that the person gets it and if you do answer, it doesn’t matter where you do it (for yourself it doesn’t matter, I mean).
I don’t have that problem, lots of readers (lots and lots if I have to believe the counter), but no comments
except from some very good friends, but I rather pick up the phone to answer them than I e-mail them 
The advantage/disadvantage (I admit, sometimes I ask myself why I’m still blogging if it stays that calm on the other side… otherwise, I know the feeling of don’t having any time, so where would I find some to answer on all those comments? I don’t know what to think…) of living in a very small country which nobody knows and nobody cares about.
Take care and good luck taking a descision! As long as you keep up blogging, I’m fine with whatever you’re doing.
I think if anything, an email reply. I reply when people ask me questions or bring up something I want to talk about, but you can’t reply to everyone. I don’t think anyone expects it either. Managing blog comments should be as stress-free as possible, I think!
honestly, I n e v e r expect a reply to a comment I leave on a blog — I am not a huge ‘commenter’ (no time), so when I do it is because I really mean it (or in this case, want to add to the ‘conversation’). On the other side of things, I rarely every reply to comments I receive on my blog (when I do get around to blogging), unless, like Elinor, a question is asked or I want to follow up.
I think you should reply if you really want to, but not because you feel obligated to.
I don’t have a blog. But I do read a bunch of blogs and probably comment on one per day. I pretty much never receive responses (and don’t expect them) and if I do they tend to be by email. It’s a sweet surprise when I get an email in response.
I really don’t expect a reply to the comments I make on blogs; and tend not to reply to comments on my blog, unless: 1) the commenter is asking an (important) question 2) has provided me with a book recommendation or similar 3) has changed my opinion about something (for which I’m always grateful!) or 4) has, after lurking for a long time, finally decided to say hello. They deserve a hello in return!
It is so exciting that your blog is drawing so many readers. Congratulations!
I personally never expect a reply to my comments, but always enjoy getting a response when it happens.
What I do with my blog is reply back by commenting on one of their blog posts just because I think it is fun to receive comments.
I agree with everyone else that you should do what you are comfortable with without making your blog time burdensome. I really enjoy your posts and would be sad if ou chose not to blog at all because commenting was getting to be too much.
Oh, Lily, you were quick to find out about the secret knit!
Personally I try to reply to all comments left on my blog because I adore getting comments. That said, a lot of people are set up so that there is no email or any other way of knowing who they are to reply to them. My blog is on blogspot.com, so leaving your email address for the blog owner isn’t mandatory.
Go with whatever method of replying makes you most comfortable. I know what you mean about being busy, I keep thinking about what I want to blog at the end of the day and just haven’t had the minutes to sit and do that.
I have a wordpress blog as well, and have the comments set up to go directly to my email account. Then I can reply to the person directly (if they left their email address) and it doesn’t show up on the blog.
There are plenty of blogs I leave comments on and never get a reply, and it doesn’t really bother me. Of course when I do, it’s extra special! I would agree you should do what makes you comfortable, doesn’t take away from the enjoyment of blogging, or cut into your knitting time!
Hurray for a growing readership! I think mixing it up works well — a combo of email replies, a return blog visit/comment, and no reply. I think it depends what you have time for! Sometimes people just want to say “nicely done” and don’t expect a reply!
Personally, a reply that pops up in the wordpess blog comments section doesn’t work for me. I don’t check back or anything.
Well, I always get the replies you send through email and it’s lovely when you do ! BUT, I would not expect it, or be put out if it wasn’t everytime. I have been through this too and just stuck with replying via email, sometimes with just a ‘thanks for popping by’, as I feel it’s polite to acknowledge people who take the time to comment. But that’s just me. Trouble is it can lead to feeling a bit stressed if time is short and there are 1001 other things to do, especially if they build up. I do let some slip through the net and then feel bad about it……which just takes the fun out of the whole process. I’m on a bit of a blogging slump at the moment, so probably not the best person to ask ! I’m just blogging as and when ..as life/work/home seems to be taking all my energies. Readership has plummeted but I’m not so worried about that. Its a cyclical thing.
Anyway, what i’m trying to say is….we all understand what it’s like. A reciprocal blog visit even weeks later is enough for me.
I have a WordPress blog, but it’s not the free blog – it’s the one you host on your own domain. When I reply to a blog comment, it goes by email back to the person who left the comment. I don’t know if that’s an option with your version. But that’s how I prefer to respond, and it’s also how I prefer to get responses – I almost never go back to a blog to see if there’s been a response posted there. I’ve seen the checkbox on some blogs to have followup messages emailed, but I’ve never used it – I didn’t know if that would only send me emails of responses back to my comment, or all future comments on the blog (which I’d hate). I guess I need to give it a try and find out.
I know a lot of people with Typepad blogs were really angry when Typepad recently took away the option to reply via email, and all responses go back to the blog. It seems that the “blog standard” is moving in that direction, and I think it’s awful, as both a blogger and as a reader. I spend more time than I should reading blogs – I don’t want to have to spend even more time re-visiting the same post to see if I got a response. And I really don’t want replies to comments on my blog being posted, since it’s usually social interaction – not a reply to a question that other people might be interested in.
I don’t expect a reply to every comment I make on a blog, especially a popular one, but I totally agree that it’s not a very satisfactory experience to post regularly on a particular blog and never get a response. It feels like too much of a one-way street. I do realize that some of them are getting hundreds of comments, and the person can’t possibly respond to them all, so I totally understand and don’t really mind, but it makes me less likely to comment.
I am blogless, but I do read a bunch of blogs and occasionally comment. If I have a question relevant to the topic (i.e. a knitting pattern or the source of something), I might check back. I am never peeved if I don’t get a response. I have been responded to both in email and via in-comment reply. People are busy. Don’t sweat it. If I really wanted a reply and didn’t receive one, I’d either send an email or re-comment.
When I comment on a blog I really don’t expect a reply, unless I’ve asked a specific question.
On my own blog, I always answer specific questions, both by email and in the blog post itself. If the commenter hasn’t asked a question, or hasn’t written something I feel REALLY needs replying to, I sometimes don’t reply at all. I also wonder if this is anti-social. I posted a question on the WordPress Ravelry forum about how people reply to comments. It seems there’s a lot of variety in how people handle this.
Some people who comment are friends I see regularly and I don’t feel I have to reply to as I’ll see/talk to them soon. Complete strangers who comment? Sometimes I’m so flattered that anyone reads my blog, much less replies, that I feel I SHOULD say something back. I’m also finding it hard enough to have the time to actually WRITE a blog post, much less reply to comments. I have to make the blog a big priority in order to keep it up.
In summary – do what you feel good about and don’t worry further. All of us who read your blog regularly are happy you are writing and sharing your life and projects. That should be enough.
First of all, I don’t expect a reply to every comment I leave. My blog is in its infancy and I do not receive alot of comments, but I don’t feel that I have to respond to each of them either. I think a blog visit and cmment are nice, but not necessary. Also, some comments are impossible to track (or is that just me?)
By the way, thank YOU for the nice comment on my blog! I love reading about and seeing yours and Lily’s projects.
I will be brief.
Firstly, congratulations on the growing readership! You deserve it for sure, with your beautiful knitting, lovely photos and intelligent, witty posts.
And secondly: I love getting your replies to my comments but I can imagine how time-consuming this gets with more and more comments to reply to. Try to find what works best for you and we will all be fine.
I love getting a reply, but certainly do not expect it every time. If a person asks a question, then certainly a reply is appropriate. Getting it via e-mail is nice. Do whatever makes you feel good. Just keep on blogging, if you can!
Congratulations on an increasing readership, you deserve it. (I’m learning to knit socks! I think…..) No reply necessary. : )
I reply to all the comments on my blog: only because now I have a few number of readers. But, if a day, I’ll have a lot of people reading my blog… It’s hard to reply to every comment. So, I think I will not expect to have an answer from you every time I left a comment: I know that you read all of them and also mine! You can reply when you have something of particular to say to a comment writer, or if you want to give instructions, etc…
I have a WordPress blog too, but every time I reply to a comment, i use the person private e-mail to reply to, not a reply by post.
I never expect a reply to my comments I leave on someone’s blog, but I do like the thought that they in return would visit my blog and leave a comment on my latest post, even if it’s just to say hi.
I always love to get comments which is why I try my best to visit lots of other blogs too.
I use blogger and it emails me when a comment is left for me, but most times the person’s email isn’t shown so I can’t just hit reply and say ‘thanks for your comment’, which I would often like to do. That is when I take the time to go visit their blog and leave them a comment that way.
Replies are always nice but I don’t expect them. When bloggers get such a high following I think it’s hard for them to start responding to every comment left, that would just then take the joy out of blogging if you felt like you had to sit and respond to every one.
I wish I had that problem
I personally like to try and reply to all comments via e-mail, but I don’t get that many so it’s fairly easy. I also think that some people don’t always expect replies unless they have asked a question. I agree with most of the comments so far that going back to a Blog to check if you had a reply is quite time consuming and not something I really like doing.
Y’know, I’ve always wondered what the blogging etiquette is for commenting/replying to comments. It’s interesting and revealing, reading all the responses.
My preference is to reply to people’s comments through my blog (which, I believe, generates an email to them with the comment as well as posting it on the page), but that’s just been my default. I’m not surprised that your readership is growing and growing – and I have a feeling it will just get bigger as you and Lily continue posting such stunning projects. I think it’s just a matter of finding what works best for you within your time constraints.
Well then. That’s all cleared up then!
Congrats on the growing readership (including me since I just found you a few weeks ago!). You and your daughter have amazing knitting skills and your posts are beautiful in style and presentation! In terms of comments…I try to respond to as many comments as possible even if just to say thanks for visiting…if no email is included (since I’m on blogger) I’ll try to track down the person’s blog or find them on Ravelry and thank them–but you are right in that even for my small readership, it is very time-consuming. I try to make the time because personally that’s the interaction I like the best about having a blog.
In terms of comments I leave, I think I wholeheartedly agree with all that Cheryl says. I won’t go back to a blog to check for responses, and while I don’t always expect a reply for each comment, I will tend to quit commenting on (but not reading) someone’s blog if after quite a few times, I get no acknowledgment at all (either in a reply or a comment on my blog). It was interesting to read the different perspectives of commenting!
I’m still learning blogging etiquette myself. I know some people respond to every comment to their post, which is very considerate of them, but I think it depends on the comment. If it requires a reply then maybe send an email; if it’s just a congratulatory comment, you can acknowledge, like you usually do…thank you by the way or let it be
I say, go with what makes you feel most comfortable. It’s rare that I come back for a response to one of my comments because I usually find an email from you in my inbox.
BTW, I saw Lily’s picture featured on Ravelry under the pattern tab.
I’m on WordPress too and know what you mean by not liking the way they’ve changed the reply back to blog rather than email. Personally, I like to reply back via email because it often leads to a to and fro friendly chat with the reader. I always like to respond to readers comments even if I’m late and acknowledge the time they spent reading my monologue. Shucks, Lily found out about the secret knitting!!
I never expect a reply. I always think that a blog is someone speaking out – my reply is me speaking back, and, unless I’ve done something out of the ordinary (helped provide a solution or, conversely, should I have said something offensive [which so far I haven't ever - the only way i can imagine this happening is for there to be a misunderstanding]) I am surprised and a little embarrassed to be responded to(and it’s probably because of the embarrassment that I lurk so many places and comment on so few
).
I do not have a blog myself, so I can only answer this from the point of view of a (occasional) commenter. I don’t expect a reply on a comment when it is just a comment. Only when it is a question or something you yourself would want to get back to me about.
I use blogger which solves the problem for me by almost never passing on the contact details of the commenter.
If someone comments to ask a question on something that is unclear or unhelpful I post a comment back as I think it might be of interest to others. Otherwise I’m afraid I can only express tacit appreciation for the comments I receive.
I don’t expect a reply when I leave comments for others although I sometimes get them and they’re very nice to receive…
This is a tough one for me, too. I’m still trying to reply to all the comments by email but it’s getting harder with more comments. Another blogger has a note on her page that she’ll “reply” to comments by leaving a comment on your blog but some people don’t have blogs. And some people don’t list their emails. I never go back and check a comment I’ve made if that’s any help.
That’s a very interesting question. I prefer to give and receive an e-mail response. But if you don’t have time, that’s not always an option. I think this is why some of the “big” bloggers, Yarn Harlot or Wendy, will mention some of the readers comments in their next post.
Ultimately, you have to do what works for you and what makes you happy. Writing a blog and responding to readers should be a pleasure and not a chore.
Life is short and time is precious to everyone. When I leave a comment on a blog I don’t except a reply to that comment and if they simply return and visit my blog on occasion and leave a comment that is fine by me. I leave the ball in their court. If they reply to my comments then I try to reply to theirs.
I must mention the issue of proportionality. Some people post – shall we say – rather more frequently that others. I tend to post once or twice a month. If someone is posting several times a week then I find that trying to keep up with that blogger is a larger time commitment than I can comfortably make.
We all put our heart on our sleeve when we post. To receive no comments would discourage even the most secure person. Therefore, if I visit a blog I try to leave a comment to let that blogger know that I appreciate that they have taken the time and effort to share.
I don’t have a blog, and often feel a bit guilty for all of the fabulous ideas I get from others’ blogs. I feel even guiltier when a blogger replies to a comment I’ve made. I don’t comment often for fear of “inconveniencing” someone I really don’t know personally, just through their blog, but I’m so appreciative and impressed with the projects and photography of so many bloggers I can’t help but comment sometimes! Please don’t reply…I’ll keep checking in for the lovely projects and updates : )
The truth is, I never expect a reply to my comment. I usually comment in statement form and not question/conversation form. I’d use email or a pm for that. I think it’s wonderful that you try to reply to all of us. On my own blog (which is certainly *not* having this problem ; } ), I only comment back when someone asks a question or sends good wishes about a personal matter. So far as I know, I haven’t offended anyone yet.
I find that an email is probably the best. Sometimes you just forget to check the comments section to see if you have been answered. A visit/ comment to the person’s post is good too, if you have the time. And then there are comments that don’t necessarily ask for a reply, they are just a comment, not a question. So those can just be enjoyed as they are!
Hi! I don’t have a blog, but I subscribe to many (including your very own wonderful Joli House!) and thought I would let you know my thoughts on replying to comments. I am not a good commenter (meaning, I don’t comment as much as I really should) but when I do I never expect to receive a reply. When I do, it is always a nice, welcome surprise. I would say most bloggers respond to me via email, and at least one leaves replies on her blog. It makes absolutely no difference to me. Just thought I would let you know that at least from this commenter, no replies are necessary – we are just so grateful to have your wonderful posts to read and enjoy, and leaving a comment for you is very often just a small small way to say thank you!!
I try to reply to everyone, but sometimes I get rather behind. I don’t have TOO many commenters at this point, so it’s not too bad. I certainly don’t feel offended when people DON’T reply to my comments on their blogs, but I do like getting to have a bit of a back-and-forth with the people whose blogs I read, and the people who read mine.
I use wordpress, too, so what I do when I get a comment in my email is copy the person’s email address into the “to” field in my email, so that when I sent the email, it goes both to the blog (as a reply), and to the commenter’s email. If I want to reply privately, I can just delete the address that wordpress puts in the “reply-to” field, so that it only goes to the commenter’s email, and not to the blog. I’m not sure if my description of what I do makes sense, but I hope so!
Definitely a return blog visit.
I don’t have reply information on my blog and haven’t set it up to figure it out. Your comments back are always sweet and appreciated. A person gets to know you and Lily better. I don’t tend to go back to a blog to look for a reply, so if you have an email and need to respond to a question or send a note that would be the preferred way for me. Sounds like I need to figure out how the “reply” thing works. Visiting each others blogs is always nice too!
Unless I’ve asked a direct question in my comments, I don’t usually expect a reply, however, a return blog visit/comment is always nice
this is quite interesting, because I think I feel very much like you. I like to reply via email when I can. Many times people have a no reply comment property so I’m not able to, if I can’t then I try to visit their blog. I like the relationship that that builds. It’s hard to have visited someone’s blog numerous times and have them not respond or reply in any way ever. But to try to respond every time can make your time at the computer very lengthy! I’ll be very interested in your findings. Thanks Amanda!
I think a reply to any new commenter (not this one, it doesn’t count – I am delurking only because it’s a subject I’ve thought a bit about), and then sporadic replies to your good blog friends or established readers, as merited by their comments, is a good balance. A comment on the person’s blog is nice, and shows you’ve bothered to follow their link, but sometimes I think comments should relate to that post, and a follow-up ‘Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. The hat is indeed warm!’ below a post about a new cake recipe can be a bit awkward.
People who really enjoy your blog will happily comment regardless of receiving a response or not, but by the same token it can be good to start a dialogue and perhaps begin a friendship.
That’s my tuppence-worth anyway.
It’s your own fault you’re getting so popular!
Whatever is easiest for you I say. Typepad allows me to reply to comments by e-mail which I really love.
I must agree with Claudia.
the question is interesting and it has been on my mind as well.
I try to keep up…but life interferes at times.
and frankly some people post so often…I can hardly keep up reading…so I don’t know how they could keep replying. A comment on your posting is a most effect means of response I agree.
I definitely favour the return visit and comment option. I agree some interaction is what makes blogging the special experience but a reply to every comment is certainly not something I feel is necessary. Great to hear you are busy with the new venture at school and with the knits
I think a reply via email every now and again is reasonable.
However, like you have already done, if you find new friends and a relationship begins by commenting on each other’s blogs, then wonderful! I’ve learned to comment without expectation of receiving anything in return. I try to have an expectant relationship with blogging…if I receive a reply all the better, but I comment because I connected with a post. I’m with you in your reason for blogging…looking for relationships not obligations.
I just started reading (growing readership?) today! And I cannot seem to get the PDF link for Aira to work. Is something not working or is it me? Even now, and on any blog I never expect a reply. In fact, I have never gotten a reply to a comment. And I read a whole slew of blogs. That is why I like Ravelry Groups. More sociable as you said because the comments and questions go both ways. Well, since I don’t expect a reply I will just let you now I will check the link in a day or two and if all else fails ask my computer savvy bf to help. I think it is so cool that an eleven year old designed that hat. I am also very jealous, I started knitting when I was 20. Think of all the extra years she gets!
Really missing you guys!